An immigrant’s migration story is hard to ignore. In attempts to assimilate, many try to shake it through whispered secrets and silent gazes, but at the end of the day, they wear it either as a burden or a badge of honor. And though the individual is more than immigrant, the story dictates how the future is received.

In 2001, Manuela Gonzalez moved to San Antonio with her family on a diplomatic exchange visa her father had received through his service in the Venezuelan military. When it was time to return, only her father went back. The political climate in her home country and marital problems between her parents led to her mother’s decision to stay in Texas. Manuela lost her status and remained undocumented for fourteen years. Today, she is a U.S. Resident, but becoming that wasn’t easy.

Her childhood is plagued by anxious moments such as finding her mother’s deportation notices, struggling to survive without being able to legally work, not having the privilege to only worry about the things that thirteen-year-olds worry about. Manuela calls it “literally just trying to exist.”

Now, she is a multilingual illustrator, social media coordinator and operations specialist at Oracle, a St. Mary’s University alumna, and a San Antonio local. She is a young woman with passions and voice, who on her social media has publicly shamed unethical companies and proudly documented her journey to health and wellness.

The confidence that radiates in present day, however, is fueled by nearly two decades of struggle. A struggle Manuela can’t quite seem to shake, admitting that she is hesitating on becoming a U.S. Citizen because of the financial burden it would cause. Yet through this struggle, a young woman has managed to thrive.

“The world’s really shitty because there are people who don’t have empathy. We have a society and a system that pits us against each other. But maybe the lack of empathy is what helps them survive.”

Empathy is one thing that Manuela herself doesn’t lack. She credits her worry-filled childhood for that. But she also learned that goals aren’t accomplished in a day, and being able to fully dive into your passion is a privilege that not everyone can afford.

“We live in a culture that romanticizes productivity. So, for a long time I really felt inadequate. I see other people doing these things and I want to do them all, but I also felt like if I couldn’t do them to that capacity then they weren’t worth doing at all. Which is a terrible mindset.”

Among other things, Manuela is talking about art. She is a gifted illustrator, whose work can be found on Instagram @guavadoodle, with not enough time to devote to her craft. This is a struggle that many of us face. We need day jobs because we need health insurance and money to pay bills, but our dreams often aren’t aligned. Figuring out how to do both is a goal of Manuela’s for the new year.

“The more important part is taking it one step at a time. And fighting the idea that if I’m not here at x point, then I’m a failure. It’s more so just finding the little victories in our everyday life.”

And there are many victories in Manuela’s everyday life. For example, she was invited to share her story with the San Antonio community in a series of TED-style talks called SAbiduria, hosted by Maestranza. She was happy to be asked but feared she wasn’t an appropriate candidate because she wasn’t born in San Antonio. And once again, Manuela has returned to her migration story.

The cyclical return to roots is a reminder of the past which has molded her into the person she is. Even with a residency permit, she remains an immigrant who is used to fighting for everything, from getting through college to finding money to renew her DACA fees. Her brilliance shines through in recognition of differences amongst her community. There are nearly 50 million immigrants in the United States. Each one with a story to tell.

“To other immigrants, keep in mind the nuance in our experience. Even though we ourselves are a part of a marginalized community there’s still the intersections of race and class and other things that should be taken into account before we go ahead and assume that we all have the same identity and the same experiences.”

Follow Manuela on Instagram and Twitter @guavavenezolana.

A Former Undocumented Immigrant’s Journey to Exist

“The world’s really shitty because there are people who don’t have empathy. We have a society and a system that pits us against each other. But maybe the lack of empathy is what helps them survive.”

“The more important part is taking it one step at a time. And fighting the idea that if I’m not here at x point, then I’m a failure. It’s more so just finding the little victories in our everyday life.”